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I Saw Larry
David...
Sitting on
a Train
E-Crap, NY/NJ - Another
commuter nightmare, waiting for the PATH train at Newark's
Penn Station. The platform crowded with hungry, overworked,
overweight commuters, at least one of which would be
pressing against me in a double seat once the train arrives.
My train was announced as a few minutes late again.
Meantime, another train approached on the same track. And
suddenly, my commute didn't seem so painful tonight, because
as the other train came to a stop, I saw Larry David.
This was no ordinary commuter
train, mind you. This was an Amtrak Acela, heading to
Boston. It had several bar cars, much wider seats, and
instead of scraping and grinding as it approached the
platform, it glided. As with most trains, the cars were all
well lit. It made it easy to see clearly inside the car
directly in front of me. And that's when I saw Larry David
on the train.
He pretended not to notice
me, as I motioned in my own original way that I recognized
him. He had his face straight ahead, staring at his laptop.
Yes, the amazing Acela had flip down trays much like an
airplane. I always thought him more a magazine reader than a
laptop user. He flinched momentarily when the conductor
called "all aboard" and a buzzer of sorts went
off. But I didn't flinch - I was looking at Larry David.
Behind me, all sorts of
commotion was ensuing. The station was announcing my
scheduled train was now five minutes late. Other trains were
being announced switched to other track platforms. Once the
Acela moved out, it would be minutes before my train finally
arrived. It was raining outside, and getting colder and
darker. I was hungry, and starting to feel a cold coming on.
It seemed everyone in my office was getting sick. But
tonight none of this mattered, because I saw Larry David
sitting quietly on the train.
As his train began to pull
away, I instinctively began to follow it down the track,
like a love-starved girl, or a pet missing its owner. I
wanted to tell everyone on the platform to look in the car I
was following, and to join me in this once-in-a-lifetime
experience, but I didn't. I finally stopped following when
the car went beyond the waiting platform. It was then that I
reaffirmed to myself that I had indeed seen Larry David on
that train.
Riding home that night, I
realized how drab and uncomfortable my commuter train was. I
wanted to be on that Acela, with wider seat, cash bar, and
smooth gliding sound. I wanted to spaciously maneuver my
laptop, and be the envy of other commuters as I pulled into
various stations throughout the northeast. I wondered why
some celebrities would decide to take a train instead of
flying, but that Amtrak looked awfully inviting. I kept
thinking about these things, but more than anything else, I
kept remembering that just minutes ago in clear view, with
indisputable video evidence, that I saw Larry David sitting
on the train, and nobody could take that away from me.
Kaneman
for E-Crap.com
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